Budding-Entrepreneur

It just dawned on me that the best sales letters ever written are probably the Nigerian Emails that ask you to send OUTRAGEOUS amounts of money to some Prince or President for the most OUTLANDISH of reasons.

You HAVE to admit they’re very compelling. They can get ordinary folks to send their life savings to strange strangers in far away Africa.

Personally, I love these letters. Their stilted language has its own quaint charm. I’m always addressed as kind Sir or dearest of Madams. And their beseeching behesting bemuses and bewitches me.

NO - I DID NOT send no money no where.

But these days, whilst I ruminate upon honing my sales writing skills, I remember some of the very best letters I’ve read in the past.

And those darn Nigerian Emails fondly come to mind.

Of course (DISCLAIMER HERE) I realize a number of people got Taken to the Roller Coaster Cleaners and back again.

One fellow actually went to Nigeria to reclaim his monies and instead, got a serious thwacking. Terrible.

But, nevertheless… what do you think of the following new style for my latest sales promotion?

~~~

“To You and Only You, Most Honorable and Esteemed Compatriot of the Most Highest and Revered Regards -

It is with the UTMOST importance that I must use this most fortunate of opportunities to IMPLORE YOU to exercise the utmost indulgence to keep the following Matter extraordinarily confidential…

But if you are willing to assist us in the moving of our MOST VALUABLE of rare and most precious of products, you can contact me post HASTE through my email address above with your telephone, fax number and personal banking information to enable us discuss the modalities of what will be your exceedingly great share (percentage) for assisting us….

~~~

: )

Thank you and most auspicious convenient of godblesses…”

“(Send ALL monies with utmost urgent dispatch as the Governor and President PERSONALLY await your missive with breathless ALACRITY…)”