Amazing Beautiful – Wondrous Things … Animals, Kids, Inspiration, Fun : )

Wondrous Things – Articles, Musings, Posts, Tids and Bits About Things Kind, Good, Natural, Healthy, Wealthy, Wise, Enlightening (Hopefully) Fun! : )
Today it is Friday, May 18, 2012, 11:01 am. in Southern California.
Welcome! : ) This site was created to provide interesting tidbits and facts that seem especially positive, uplifting, entertaining, interesting, inspirational, or of particular benefit to health and well being. Be sure to check out the numerous articles collection listed in the right column. We're glad you're here and hope you enjoy the content. If you have anything wonderful to share, please tell us about it, here.  
 
~~~

Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Video, Full Transcripts

Posted On: October 24, 2008 by cdin

SNL – Will Ferrell as President Bush, Tina Fey as Gov. Sarah Palin,
Will Forte as trusted aide Jeff, Jason Sudeikis as Todd Palin,
Darrell Hammond as Sen. John McCain. More delightful hilarity
from a talented team…

FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: “Hello, my fellow Americans. I have chosen to schedule this impromptu address at night because quite frankly every time I speak during the day, the Stock Market goes in the crapper. So, sorry, Asian markets. You take the hit on this one. I come to you tonight in the midst of a very important election between two very qualified candidates… the hot lady and the Tiger Woods guy. Both candidates are heavily patriotized and display much characterization. And yes, I did have three Xanax and a Silver Bullet about a half-hour ago. I’m out of here in a few months, so screw it. But before I leave I wanted to help Sarah Palin and John McCain by giving them what every candidate wants most: a prime-time heavily publicized network endorsement from George W. Bush. Hey, don’t pinch yourself John, you are awake!”

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: “Now I tried to do this several months ago but somehow it kept getting pushed to a written press release or a shouted sentence as I walked to the helicopter. I began to suspect that they didn’t want my endorsement to be too public. But now with the country on a big upswing and my numbers on the rise, I thought it was time to give a proper, large scale “much love” to McCain and Palin…”

(WILL FORTE enters as trusted aide Jeff and whispers in BUSH’s ear)

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: “What? What? Really? Why didn’t you tell me Jeff? I’ve just been told by my trusted aide Jeff, that the country is actually in a horrible downward spiral and that my approval numbers are lower than ever. That one’s on me. Uh, four months ago, I declared the Oval Office a bummer-free zone. So… You know what, let’s bring on Senator McCain and Governor Palin.”

(TINA FEY AS GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN enters smiling, waving and sits on desk next to BUSH)

TINA FEY AS GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN: “So nice to meet you, Mr. President. I’ve seen you on TV.”

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: “Where’s McRage?”

TINA FEY AS GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN: “You know, John McCain and I have been so busy travelin’ around this great country of ours talkin’ about change and energy independence and William Ayers, and doin’ a little shoppin’… but unfortunately Senator McCain, upon hearing you wanted to give him a super public endorsement, cannot be found. He was last seen travelin’ on foot through the Adirondacks. But my husband Todd and two of his drinkin’ buddies are in pursuit on snowmachines.

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: “Well, we’ll smoke him out. George, uh, smoke ‘m out… George Bush always finds his man… save for one huge exception.”

TINA FEY AS GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN: “We are gonna get ‘er done.”

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: “My God you are folksy.”

TINA FEY AS GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN: “Why thank you Mr. President. I like to think I’m one part practiced folksy, one part sassy and a little dash’a high school bitchy.”

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: “For a little while I was trying to be folksy but after a bit, it just came off douchey. All right, let me get into my endorsement for you as Vice President. As you know America, the office of Vice President is the most important office in the land. The Vice President decides when we go to war, how we tax the citizens and how we interpret the Constitution. The President can do nothing without checking with the Vice President. That is why Sarah Palin…”

TINA FEY AS GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN: “Actually, Mr. President, I don’t want to go all Katie Couric on you, but I think it’s actually the other way around. I think the Vice President reports to the President.”

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: “Really? That’s not what Dick Cheney told me when he sat me down the first day.”

(JASON SUDEIKIS appears as TODD PALIN in ‘Team Arctic’ racing suit pushing DARRELL HAMMOND as JOHN MCCAIN ahead of him.)

JASON SUDEIKIS AS TODD PALIN: “We out-mavericked the maverick!”

DARRELL HAMMOND AS JOHN MCCAIN: “Good evening, my friends. Mr. President, always a pleasure.”

(DARRELL HAMMOND weakly puts out left hand; WILL FERRELL grabs ahold with right hand, won’t let go even though HAMMOND tries to retract hand)

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: “Good to see you, John. Hey let’s get a photo of this; it’ll really help your campaign out. (Fey as Palin smiles, poses with fist under chin, hand on elbow) Now let me do this: I, George W. Bush, endorse John McCain and Sarah Palin with all my heart…”

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: “John was there for me ninety percent of the time over the last eight years. When you think of John McCain, think of me, George W. Bush. Think of this face. When you’re in the voting booth, before you vote – picture THIS FACE right here. A vote for John McCain is a vote for George Dubya Bush.”

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: You welcome. So, I want to be there for you John, for the next eight years.”

TINA FEY AS GOVERNOR SARAH PALIN: “The next sixteen years!”

WILL FERRELL AS PRESIDENT BUSH: (to off-camera photographer) “Let’s get a safety. I think I blinked on that last shot. Thumbs up, everybody.
(Tina Fey as Sarah Palin lifts skirt a bit, poses, winks) But most of all I support them because… Live from New York… It’s Saturday Night!!”

 

Filed under: Fun, Funny, Politickles by cdin
No Comments »

 
~~~
 
 

SNL, Parnell, Hammond, Armisen as Obama McCain Video Full Transcript

Posted On: September 28, 2008 by cdin

Presidential Debate with Barack Obama, John McCain + Transcript

Hee-larious! Perhaps farce comes from, “far-seeing…” : )

 
Highlights – Thanks to NBC News:

After the candidates were introduced by Parnell’s Lehrer, who urged them to “look at one another up to and beyond the point it becomes uncomfortable” throughout the debate.  He then asked first question about the candidates’ views on the financial recovery plan before Congress.  After Obama’s answer, Hammond’s McCain immediately proposed suspending the campaign.

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN : “Jim, I would like to take this opportunity to make my opponent a proposal:  Effective immediately, each of us suspend our campaigns, and instead hold a series of three pie-eating contests.  Next Tuesday, Kansas City-lemon meringue.  Saturday, Jacksonville-blueberry.  The following week, in Dallas-coconut custard.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “Senator Obama?”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “Jim, I don’t see the value of this. (pause)  Maybe the blueberry.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “But Senator McCain, what does this have to do with the issues in this election?”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “Nothing at all, Jim.  It’s what in my campaign we call a ‘stunt’ or a ‘gimmick.’  Something to shake up the race.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “That’s what it sounds like.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “That’s all it is.  A little ‘straight talk’ there.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “Still Senator, I would like to hear your position on the bailout plan.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “Jim, what the American people need to understand, and what Senator Obama does not understand, is that the real problem here is excessive government spending, especially Congressional earmarks, and pork-barrel projects.  Like this one:  75 million to the Department of Justice, for a program to notify convicted sex offenders when a child moves into their neighborhood.  I fought that earmark, and got the funding reduced to 41 million.  And how about this?  8.2 million for something called ‘Tony Rezko Hush Money.’”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “John, I withdrew that earmark right after he began cooperating with prosecutors.  And I think you know that.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “Senator, the fact is, to fund all the other programs you’re planning, will require a massive tax increase.”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “John, once again, you’re not being truthful about my proposals.  Under my tax plan, not only would every American making less than $250,000 per year get a tax cut; so would most members of the Chicago City Council as well as city Building Inspectors.  That’s because my plan would not tax income from bribes, kickbacks, shakedowns, embezzlement of government funds, or extortion.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “I just thought of something.  Senator Obama, why don’t you and I immediately suspend our campaigns, and instead do three town hall meetings, where we appear nude or semi-nude.  I think the American people have a right to know what their President would look like with no clothes on.”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “Look, I’m not comfortable with that, Senator. I have two young daughters.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “October 4th, Hartford:  completely naked, with optional posing strap.  October 9th, Nashville:  see-through body stockings.  October 17th, Seattle:  modified Chippendales-collar and bowtie, with tear-away tuxedo, or fringed leather chaps.”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “Again, I don’t see the point.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “I think we’ll let the two of you work that out.  But for now let’s turn to the war in Iraq.  Senator Obama, what has this war taught us?”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “Look, as you know, Jim, I opposed this war from the very beginning, when it was not the politically popular thing to do.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “Yet, Senator, you voted against the ‘surge,’ a strategy that I have been arguing for since 1985.  Long before anyone even thought of invading Iraq, I wanted to add more troops, in case we ever did invade.”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “John, think about that for a moment.  That doesn’t even make sense.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “Perhaps not to you, Senator.  That’s because you’re not a ‘maverick.’”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “John, the fact is, the ‘surge’ was itself a remedy for a series of failed military policies by this Administration, policies you initially supported.  As you have supported this President 90 percent of the time.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “Jim, my opponent knows that’s not true.  I’ve never supported President Bush.  I have undermined President Bush.  Just ask any Republican:  I have always been disloyal to this President, a disloyal, unreliable, untrustworthy renegade, who has abandoned my Party whenever it most needed me.  The fact is, you simply can’t count on John McCain.  And that’s why, on November 4th, the American people will elect me their next President.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “Alright.  Now let’s turn to the topic of nuclear proliferation.  Senator Obama, you have frequently been critical of this Administration’s efforts to stop Iran and North Korea’s nuclear weapons programs. What would you do differently?”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “First of all, Jim.  I would use traditional diplomacy.  Something this Administration has consistently refused to do.  Should that fail, then, and only then, I would try what I call ‘playing the race card.’”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “And how would that work?”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “Take North Korea.  I would ask Kim Jong-Il to shut down his country’s nuclear weapons program.  If he declined, I would say to him:  ‘Alright, I get it.  I know why you’re really refusing to stop the program.’  And he would say, ‘No, what are you talking about?’  And I would say, ‘It’s because I don’t look like all the other Presidents you’ve dealt with.’  Then he would say, ‘Wait.  That’s not fair.  That has nothing to do with it.’  And I would add, ‘That’s cool, I understand.  I’m different.  I’m not like the other guys on the five and ten dollar bills.’  It’s a long, delicate process.  But eventually, he’ll have to give in.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “And what if he didn’t?”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “Then I would try the ‘carrot:’ dinner with Scarlett Johansson.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “Would she agree to have dinner with Kim Jong-Il?”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “For me she would, yes.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. MCCAIN: “Look, my friends.  I have no idea who Scarlett Johansson is.  But let me tell you something.  No President should ever tell our enemies what we might do in a negotiation.”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “That’s interesting, John.  Coming from the guy who sang, ‘Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran.’”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “Obviously, my opponent doesn’t understand.  There was a musical combo called the Beach Boys.  Who recorded a song that went ‘Bar-bar-bar, bar-Barbara Ann’ which sounds like, ‘Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran.’  Evidently, he’s unaware of that.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “Okay.  I had hoped to explore the candidates’ views of the War on Terror, but we are just about out of time.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “Jim, may I throw out one more offer?  My opponent and I both suspend our campaigns.  We’re airdropped into Waziristan, and neither of us comes back until we’ve found and captured Osama Bin Laden.  It’s a ‘maverick’ move, and it could break this race wide open.”

ARMISEN AS SEN. OBAMA: “I can’t.  I have a fundraiser at Rob Reiner’s.”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “I know it’s not the safe thing to do politically.  But if there’s any chance of catching Bin Laden, I would rather lose my life than win an election.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “Really?  You’d rather risk capture by Al Qaeda than possibly become President?”

HAMMOND AS SEN. McCAIN: “Truthfully, yes.  At this point, I don’t really care anymore.  I mean it.”

PARNELL AS JIM LEHRER: “And that concludes tonight’s debate.  I would like to thank our candidates, our audience and Senator Hillary Clinton who flew down here just in case Senator McCain didn’t show up.  I’m sorry it didn’t work out.  From all of us here at the Gertrude C. Ford Center, thank you and good night.”


 

Filed under: Fun, Funny, Politickles, Videos by cdin
No Comments »

 
~~~
 
 

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton + Transcript : )

Posted On: September 28, 2008 by Cdin
 
THE COMPLETE SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE VIDEO CLIP
WITH TINA FEY AS SARAH PALIN AND AMY POEHLER
AS HILLARY CLINTON
 

 
SNL SKIT WITH JOHN MCCAIN IMPERSONATOR
APPROVING" TRUTH -ENHANCED" ADS
 

Transcript:
 
TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “Good evening, my fellow Americans. I was so excited when I was told Senator Clinton and I would be addressing you tonight.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “And I was told I would be addressing you alone.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “Now I know it must be a little bit strange for all of you to see the two of us together. What with me being John McCain’s running mate.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “And me being a fervent supporter of Senator Barack Obama — as evidenced by this button.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “But tonight we are crossing party lines to address the now very ugly role that sexism is playing in the campaign.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “An issue which I am frankly surprised to hear people suddenly care about.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “You know, Hillary and I don’t agree on everything…”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: (OVERLAPPING) “Anything. I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “And I can see Russia from my house.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “I believe global warming is caused by man.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “And I believe it’s just God hugging us closer.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “I don’t agree with the Bush Doctrine.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “I don’t know what that is.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “But Sarah, one thing we can agree on is that sexism can never be allowed to permeate an American election.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “So please, stop photoshopping my head on sexy bikini pictures.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “And stop saying I have cankles.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “Don’t refer to me as a ‘MILF.’”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “And don’t refer to me as a [flurge]. I Googled what it stands for and I do not like it.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “So we ask reporters and commentators, stop using words that diminish us, like ‘pretty,’ ‘attractive,’ ‘beautiful.’”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “‘Harpy,’ ‘shrew’ and ‘boner shrinker.’”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “While our politics may differ, my friend and I are both very tough ladies. You know it reminds me of a joke we tell in Alaska…”What’s the difference…

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “Lipstick.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “…between a hockey mom…”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “Lipstick.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “…and a pitbull?”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “Lipstick.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN(AFTER A BEAT): “Lipstick. Just look at how far we’ve come. Hillary Clinton, who came so close to the White House. And me, Sarah Palin, who is even closer. Can you believe it, Hillary?”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: (AFTER A PAUSE)”I can not.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “It’s truly amazing and I think women everywhere can agree, that no matter your politics, it’s time for a woman to make it to the White House.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “No. Mine! It’s supposed to be mine! I need to say something. I didn’t want a woman to be President. I wanted to be President and I just happen to be a woman. And I don’t want to hear you compare your road to the White House to my road to the White House. I scratched and clawed through mud and barbed wire and you just glided in on a dog sled wearing your pageant sash and your Tina Fey glasses.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “What an amazing time we live in. To think that just two years ago, I was a small town mayor of Alaska’s crystal meth capitol. And now I am just one heartbeat away from being President of the United States. It just goes to show that anyone can be President.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “Anyone.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “All you have to do is want it.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: (LAUGHS) “Yeah, you know, Sarah, looking back, if I could change one thing, I should have wanted it more.” (RIPS OFF PIECE OF PODIUM)

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “So in the next six weeks, I invite the media to be vigilant for sexist behavior.”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “Although it is never sexist to question female politicians’ credentials. Please ask this one about dinosaurs. So I invite the media to grow a pair. And if you can’t, I will lend you mine.”

TINA FEY / SARAH PALIN: “And as we say in Alaska – ”

AMY POEHLER AS HILLARY CLINTON: “We say it everywhere – ”

FEY/POEHLER: “Live from New York, It’s Saturday Night!”

 

Filed under: Fun, Funny, Politickles, Videos by Cdin
No Comments »

 
~~~
 
 
Next Page »