Amazing Beautiful – Wondrous Uplifting, Lovely, Moving & Mysterious Things … Welcome! : )

Welcome to Uplifting, Lovely, Moving & Mysterious Things
Today, it is Friday, March 24, 2017, 12:00 pm. in Southern California.
Welcome! : ) This site was created to provide interesting tidbits and facts that seem especially positive, uplifting, entertaining, interesting, inspirational, or of particular benefit to health and well being. Be sure to check out the numerous articles collection listed in the right column. We're glad you're here and hope you enjoy the content. If you have anything wonderful to share, please tell us about it, here.  
 
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THE TURKEY SHOT OUT OF THE OVEN!


Jack Prelutsky

The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air,
it knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner
and burst with deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor,
there was turkey attached to the ceiling,
where there’d never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl,
there wasn’t a way I could stop it,
that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I’d never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn’t been popped.

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LESSON:
Don’t eat turkey. Just eat Sprout SALAD.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! 😀
 
Thanks to Jack and BB! : )
 


 
 
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What If the INTERNET DISAPPEARED?

What would TOMORROW be like if there was NO MORE INTERNET? Gone. Kaput. Major backbone breakdown. Final Fail. Cracked.com has 20 winning Photoshopped images that show the possibilites. Below is my favorite. What else would the iPhone be good for?? Talking?

What would happen TOMORROW if the Internet DISAPPEARED?

What would happen TOMORROW if the Internet DISAPPEARED?


 
 
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PRICELESS Letter to Bank from 86 Year Old

HILARIOUS 86-year Old Lady’s Letter to Bank re: Bank Fees
“Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.” (See actual source of letter on the bottom)

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Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, — when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

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The original version of this wonderful letter was written by an Australian columnist named Peter Wear of the Queensland Courier Mail. (Source: Snopes, http://www.snopes.com/business/bank/takethat.asp)

Thanks to BB!


 
 
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Surya the Orangutan & Hound Dog

Surya the Little Orangutan and Roscoe the Hound Dog
are best friends.

These two love each other as much as any two can.
Surya adopted Roscoe straight from the forest…

A remarkable story – what’s particularly endearing is how Surya ALWAYS shares half of her food with Roscoe. Evidently, organgutans are just like that… particularly loving.

In this video, Surya is such an amazing… child. She romps, rolls, fall backwards with such style and delight.

No doubt – the two love each other with full hearts.

Who’s the psychologist who keeps saying animals have no feelings?

Helloooo…. knock knock…

: )

These two love each other as much as any two kids can. I can’t believe it’s okay to experiment on dogs, monkeys… any animal, really.

Thank you, National Geographic and the family that took Roscoe in. He looks so healthy and happy. What an amazing family. 😀

[ Surya the Orangutang – Roscoe the Hound Dog – A National Geographic Special ]


 
 
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Playful Herbie the Calf

Rescued: Herbie the Rescued Factory Farm Calf
Plays with a Tree Branch – What a Silly Fellow : )

He’s just a little treasure, this funny fellow. His owner rescued him when he jumped from a slaughter house truck, bound for disposal.

He has SO MUCH personality – see him play with his ball, trying to invite his little calf friend to play.

But NO… animals have no feelings. They’re… just… vegetables!

Not! : )

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And finally, here’s precious little calf Scooter…



 
 
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Hilarious! but sad…

Michael Moore is a CHARACTER

How does this feller get away with what he does?

Well it’s rather nice that he does – for it could mean that there’s still hope for the rest/best of us. He certainly sees the irony and twistiness of it all, and inserts humor into humorless places and humorless faces.

Whether you agree or disagree, it seems a major portion of individuals have been took by hook and crook.

The title of Michael Moore’s new movie is, “Capitalism, A Love Story.”

The story of how love and addiction of money and power has brought ruinous devastation to millions across America – the little folks who dared to believe and trust that their savings would be properly cared for by the powers that be.

Now if you happen to be one of the Smart and Sassy rich who have prospered during this “interesting” time, you probably have few or no complaints.

So, it depends what side you’re on.

Unfortunately, no matter the side you WANT to be on… only those who “fit” the fit, look the look, talk the walk and meet the “bloodlines” regulations will be able to join the rich group. And, you will most likely have to leave your conscience at the door.


 
 
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TOO cute – Panda Dog : )

Why, he even lumbers like a little panda. If it were me, I would name him “Bamboo…” Precious little pudget. : )


 
 
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BRUNO LETTERMAN Top Ten

This is just plain funny – true LOL 😀
TOP TEN Reasons to see “BRUNO” the MOVIE

Not sure will see at Theater… but definitely a rental. Sascha Baron Cohen is a brilliant comedian – albeit way off the wall. The “discomfort” some have expressed does make one think. About what, not sure… perhaps about how we cope with the unknown.

He’s an entertainer. He points out our biases, prejudices, intolerances, and our difficulty in reconciling strange and disquieting humor. Talk about pushing the envelope. :O


 
 
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Boxing Kitteh Watches TV

Okay – we figured this out – someone is dangling a little string or something that the kitten is batting it’s paws at. Clever – fooled me! Still entertaining at first glance though. The subconscious knows: at first sight, noted that this was “unreal.” True that! : )


Imitates the boxers – this kitteh KNOWS what he’s watching. : )
(Kitten cat watches boxing on TV and imitates the fighters. Unreal.)


 
 
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Silly Silly Cat : )

Very Absolutely Adorable


 
 
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The Misery of Intelligence

Adam Carolla talks about the problems of being intelligent, and how better it might be to be an ignorant, but happy Labrador Retriever. : )

His 4 ideas on how to achieve success seem spot on. 😀

Thank you Wimp


 
 
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NEW Toilet Paper TOOL!

Comfort Wipes

Are there any words to describe this new marvel of technological advancement?


 
 
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